Friday May 13, Bar The Happy Midget, London, Canada. 9:03 p.m.
-Hi! Name’s Graham, what about you? Not a talker, eh? Well that’s fine by me, I used to be like that in high-school too. You know, shy and stuff, good times, good times. Anyway, you see that girl, the redhead chick, by the bar? I betcha twenty bucks I’m gonna hook her up before closing time, ‘kay? Deal!
Friday May 13, Bar The Happy Midget, London, Canada. 9:46 p.m.
-Holy shit, man! She’s totally into me, she just needs a little help, I’m gonna need you on this one. Yeah, I know that wasn’t in the deal, but I’ll double the bet if you help me there. Just go see her and be bold as hell. What? Just say shitty pick-up lines and try to grab her ass or something. What lines? I dunno, something like “do you sleep on your belly? ‘cause I sure as hell would like to!” You get the idea...
Friday May 13, Bar The Happy Midget, London, Canada. 9:50 p.m.
-Hi. Huh? I’m Michelle, but I’m telling you, I have enough sweaty losers trying to pick me up as it is. Say what? He sent you? Oh, so now I’m supposed to act all frustrated by what you just said? Oh well, why not? You saying there’s forty bucks for you? You know, he’s kinda cute, I wouldn’t... What? You sharing! Alright, half-half. So he’s supposed to come to save me from you sooner or later? Hehe. Speaking of the wolf.
-Jeez man, let the girl alone! Can’t you see she’s not interested?
Wednesday May 18, Bar The Happy Midget, London, Canada. 10:08 p.m.
-Duuuude! You so owe me forty bucks. Man she’s hot. That girl, Michelle, she’s just something else, you know? It’s not just the body, it’s everything, the way she twists her hair, how she holds her smokes, everything. Man. Oh yeah, she told me what you did last friday, that wasn’t fair man. Normally I wouldn’t have asked you the money, but now... And to think she still went out. Man, sometimes I just kill myself. Thanks. Anyway, the beers are on me tonight, err, what’s your name again?
Friday May 20, Bar The Happy Midget, London, Canada. 9:08 p.m.
-Hello cutie. Yeah, sorry about last time, I know I had to tell him to buzz-off, but I couldn’t get around to it, he’s so nice, you know? The first time he looked like a total loser, but when you get to know him, he’s such a sweetheart. He’s got a smashing ass too. So yeah, we’re sort-of going out together now, still in that sweet awkward phase, you know? Err yeah, I wanted to pay you back, here, take this. Eh, no, it’s nothing. So, how are you? Me too. What you doing for a living? Whoa! My brother does that too. Where are you working?
Sunday June 22, Wal-Mart store, London, Canada. 1:23 p.m.
-No shit? You! Another broken loser buying clothes in secret at Wal-Mart! Haha! How have you been? It’s been what, a month? Anyway, I just gotta thank you, I’ve found love, you know, the big thing, with a capital “L”! Yeah, we’re serious now. Man, I gotta go, but I’m paying you a beer friday, same hour, same place, I’ll see if Michelle wanna come, ‘kay?
Friday June 27, Bar The Happy Midget, London, Canada. 9:21 p.m.
-Hey man! Sorry I’m late, I had so much stuff to do, work’s a bitch. I gotta finish some stuff at home, ‘kay? Could you, like wait for Michelle for me, I couldn’t call her, she’s supposed to come in a little while. Tell her I love her, and to call me. Thanks, you’re a mate. Well, gotta go, see you around.
Friday June 27, Bar The Happy Midget, London, Canada. 9:52 p.m.
-Hello. How have you been? I’m okay, I rushed into a cab as soon as I could get out of that horrible exposition. Anyway, where’s Graham? What, he left? Jeez what a bitch. I mean, he’s always so freaking busy with that crap he does, you know?. He told you to tell me he loves me, huh? I thought so. But hey! We can have our night out by ourselves can’t we? I so need a drink. Hey, excuse me miss, one pitcher here please. What kind do you like, blond? No? What about a sangria? Okay! One pitcher of sangria please.
Friday June 27, Bar The Happy Midget, London, Canada. 10:30 p.m.
-...so, that’s when things started to turn a bit sour, you know? He’s all gone to lovey lovely heaven, but, you see, I just don’t know if I’m ready. But I’m boring you to death, right? Don’t be so polite honey, I know you’re faking that smile a little bit. Say, wanna dance? I really really like this song. Alright let’s go.
Saturday June 28, Bar The Happy Midget, London, Canada. 00:34 a.m.
-Ooh, I think I drank too much, you think you can drive? No, I guessed so. Hehe, you’re even worse than me. Whoa! Watch where you’re going, look, let me show you the way, we’ll have salavatin'... savla.... good fresh air very very soon. Just let poor little Michelle guide you. Here, you feeling better? Yeah, me too. Got a smoke? What’s that, cigars? Oh, whatever, I just need my fix. Hey, let’s sober-up a bit here, okay? I like that place, it’s, like, sooooooo eerie and stuff. Hey, that’s not a cigar! How come you never told me you had joints in your pack? We so need to smoke that right now. Hand me your lighter. Yeah..
Saturday June 28, near the bar The Happy Midget, London, Canada. 1:01 a.m.
-Hey, your shoulder’s comfortable. But don’t get any ideas, I love Graham.
Saturday June 28, near the bar The Happy Midget, London, Canada. 1:08 a.m.
-You know, what I said about not getting ideas? Screw that.
Wednesday June 31, Bar The Happy Midget, London, Canada. 9:23 p.m.
-Hey man! You won’t believe it! Michelle dumped me! She said she wasn’t ready, that she needed time to clear things. She said she realized that she didn’t know if I was the one. Man, I tried everything! She finally said that she met this guy who completely teared her world to pieces. Man, what does that means? I can’t really blame her, I’ve been so busy lately, and I’m not exactly the most trustworthy guy in town, huh? Man I really wish she would at least tell me who it was, I’m not going to kill him or anything, I just want to know who, and why. Well, maybe I'll kill him. I love her so fucking much, I can't lose her. I just can't. She's pure dope.
Saturday July 3, answering machine, London, Canada. 10:12 a.m.
-Hi. It’s Michelle. I’m lost. I don’t know what’s going on anymore. I need to see you. Call me back, no, wait, come to my apartment as soon as possible, it’s 10 235 Everett, apartment 6. Please. I really need you, you know? Shit.
Saturday July 3, 10 235 Everett app. 6, London, Canada. 6:46 p.m.
-Hi... He loves me. He loves me so much. But... Please just hold me.
Saturday July 3, 10 235 Everett app. 6, London, Canada. 11:03 p.m.
-Michelle!
-Shit.
-Michelle! Please, let me in. I know he’s here. I just wanna talk, please. Please. Just a few words, just make this clear. Michelle! Yesterday you said you loved me! Yester-fucking-day! Make-up your mind you fucking... you fucking...
-Fucking what? Bitch?
-No! That’s not what I meant. I love you, he loves you, shit, just tell us. This can’t go on forever!
-I tried Graham, I swear I tried so fucking hard. But I just can’t.
-Michelle! Open this mother-fucking door right the fuck now! I got a gun and I don’t know what the fuck I’ll do if you don’t open that fucking door right now!
-That’s bullshit Graham! You don’t have no fucking gun. Please, just go away.
-I swear!
-Go away!
-I swear I’ll blow my fucking head off right now! Open the door, please Michelle, for or love, please.
Saturday July 3, 10 235 Everett app. 6, London, Canada. 11:05 p.m.
-Oh shit! Please tell me he didn’t do it. Please! He isn’t that stupid, right? You! Take a look, I can’t I just can’t. Graham you dumb-fuck! You still alive? Oh shit. Please, look for me. He’s not going to shoot you, he’s not a psycho. Come on! Thank you. So? He did it? Hey! Where are you going? Come back here. What, just a one night? You fuckass! Come back here! You’re going to just walk away after all that? But I loved you. What? Be a better judge of character? Fuck. You. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit . Shit.














Comments
I'm off to favourite it
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You're full of mashed potatoes, my slinky harbor sloth.
I usually don't read prose on DA; in fact, I loathe it, mainly out of apathy but also realism. I would bother to read most prose if I could be bothered to print it out, but you see the problem there. I wouldn't read the one prose piece on my page, no way. It spans 2 friggin' submissions.
Hell, I don't even like reading poems longer than a not so long thing. I don't even like reading a lot of poems, as they're usually standard, unoriginal rubbish poetry. I only like reading mine (I'm allowed to indulge my ego now and again), one by people I know (who usually write good poems), and ones that are fairly short with a first line/stanze or title that catches my eye. Yeah, I'm lazy, but my brain is all the better because of it.
But I digress. I liked this. Good work.
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Buy my pamphlet, 'You Old Soak', published by Read This Press, here: [link]
Submit stuff to Read This Magazine: [link]
"The good times are killing me..."
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"La vie n'est pas qu'une salope."
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"La vie n'est pas qu'une salope."
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